Broken Heart Made New

There has been a song that has helped me through these past few weeks. It's inspired me, and helped me get through each day without feeling sad. Here are the lyrics to Hawk Nelsons song. You can listen to it Here.

                                                    "Every Beat Of My Broken Heart"

This is not what I asked
Not what I prayed for
Are you listening now?
'Cause all that I've built,
All that I've bled for
Is coming undone

But what if it had to be broken
Before my heart could be open?

Maybe the shattered parts
Are the places where Your love starts
And now I am closer to where You are
With every beat of my broken heart
Oh, oh

Maybe it's not what i would've chosen
And I won't understand
But I'm trusting You now
Cause all that I know is
I am safe in Your hands

But what if it had to be broken
Before my heart could be open?

Maybe the shattered parts
Are the places where Your love starts
And now I am closer to where You are
With every beat of my broken heart
Mercy is here with me
Even if I can't see it now
I am closer to where You are
With every beat of my broken heart

So break me all the way
'Til we are face to face
When Your work in me is through
Then all that's left is You

Maybe the shattered parts
Are the places where You're love starts
And now I am closer to where You are
With every beat of my broken heart

Mercy is here with me
Even if I can't see it now
I am closer to where You are
With every beat of my broken heart
Oh, oh

I am closer to where You are
With every beat of my broken
Beat of my broken heart

This song has helped me realize that I haven't been fully relying upon the Lord. Sometimes He allows things in our lives to "break" us so we can see Him more clearly. We become so self centered that our hearts harden towards the Lord. When our hearts "break" and something happens in our lives that wakes us up to the Lord, we come closer to Him. He loves us so much. It's a love like no other. One that He gave His son for us. I know we hear that a lot, but losing a baby that I never got to hold, made me realize even more the sacrifice of our Lord. Think of Jesus' mother, who got to hold him, raise him, watch him take his first steps, first words, first scratch. And then she had to watch as a crowd yelled "crucify him!". This was her son! Could you imagine how broken her heart was as a mother? God's love for us is even stronger than that between mother and child. You see, Jesus was His son too, but in human form.

We hear from church all the time that "God loves us". We get so used to the idea of God loving us that we forget about it. We put it aside for later. Until something "bad" happens in your life and then you say "it's ok, God loves me, i'll get through this". And then once we get through that stage, we go back to our self centered lives, and enter the cycle again. I have an idea, lets break the cycle. Lets have a passion for God like no other. Lets wake up the church, lets reach out to those hurting. Lets become a "New Testament" church. A group of people who meet, worship the Lord, helps others (with no self interest in trying to make themselves look better), and reach out to those who are searching for love. Everyone wants to be loved, the sad part is, they don't realize they are loved, loved by God. Why don't they know? Because "church" people are to caught up in building numbers (people and dollars). Oh I've seen it in church's, where you can walk in and no one ever says hi to you. You are just another number to them. And then their worship service is more like a concert that makes them look good. And the people around you aren't singing or hardly, because their hearts really aren't into it. Yes they have a few good people in the church. But you come away from the sermons needing more. They are what I call "fluffy" sermons. Sermons that are meant to please people, not grow them. Preachers are afraid to step on peoples toes. How can we grow if we aren't challenged? 

We have gotten so far away from God, and His Word, that we get comfortable in our routines, forgetting that we need God every day of the week. We need Him every day, not just on Sunday. We need to change how things are in church's that are "fluffy".  "But i'm only one person! One person doesn't make a difference". Yes one person does make a difference. There is a pebble. The pebble says " I can never have an impact on anything". The pebble is then thrown in the water, and it creates ripples all through the pond. You see, even though you are one person, you can influence those around you. You can make a difference. 

Remember this, no matter what you are going through, God loves you. 

June 26, 2013

  June 26, 2013. The day I most likely won’t forget. The day started about 4am for me. I had intense pain in my side. More painful than a kidney stone. I woke my husband up, and he took me to the emergency room. I told them some info about how I was feeling, and within ten minutes I was in a room getting blood drawn. The nurses had that “worried” look on their faces. I was in intense pain, because I didn’t want morphine. So I found out that when I’m in pain, I make jokes and have a sense of humor most people in a hospital don’t have. Within a few hours the results were back. I was pregnant, and I had an ectopic pregnancy. Finding out that I was pregnant and that the baby wouldn’t live was a shock. And then they did the ultrasound. I had internal bleeding. Next thing I knew, I was being transferred to another hospital in an ambulance. By 10am I was in surgery. I don’t remember much after that. I slept for 6 hours, found out that my mom would be flying in the next evening, and still in shock of all that happened. By 5pm the hospital released me, and I came home.

  When I heard about my ectopic pregnancy, I thought it was something that was rare. But 20 out of 1,000 pregnancies are ectopic. Why aren’t woman told about this? Why is it so “secret”? There’s not much out there where other woman are talking about it. I only see articles from doctors or health sites.

Today the shock of the surgery finally wore off, and now the grieving for the child I’ll never hold until we meet in heaven. The Lord has been my comfort in this hard time. These verses have helped me this past week.

 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Psalms 30:5 …Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God. Psalms 42:11

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3

 

The Lord has taught me a lot, and is still teaching me. If you or a loved one has gone through something similar my heart and prayers go out to those who have been through something like this. It is hard, but remember the Lord loves you, and has his hand in your life.

Dandelions on the Wind, The Quilted Hearts Series #1 : Book Review

Picture from http://waterbrookmultnomah.com

Dandelions on the Wind, The Quilted Hearts Series #1

If you like to read a good read, I suggest you read this book. Dandelions on the Wind by Mona Hodgson, is the first novella in the Quilted Heart series, and you won’t be able to put it down. The book is about a mail order bride , Maren Jenson, who has come to America from Denmark. But the man she is supposed to marry, leaves her when he finds out about Maren’s ailment. She finds a home with Ms. Brantenberg , and her young granddaughter, Gabi.

But the winds change when Gabi’s father shows up. Maren finds herself falling in love with him, and his daughter Gabi. But the strain between “Wooly” and Ms. Brantenberg is strong and the tension is high. One great lesson this book shares is that “Grace cannot be earned, only given”.

I found this book to be a great read. The only downside is that it’s short. Also there needed to be more about the characters themselves to help the reader feel as if they knew them. The lessons on grace and forgiveness in this book is nice and refreshing.  Also the last few chapters of the book don’t talk much about Maren’s ailment. Overall this little novella was an inspiring book, with lessons on grace and forgiveness throughout the book.

* I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review*

You can purchase this book through Amazon here.

More information about the book here.

Fruit Infused Water

© Pimenova | Dreamstime Stock Photos &Stock Free Images

   So today i made lemon blueberry infused water. I wanted to have some flavor without all the chemicals of store bought fruit flavored waters.

So this is what i did : 

• Take 1 Lemon and squeeze juice and pulp into a glass 
• Take a handful of blueberries and slightly squeeze them and put them in the glass
• Let sit for a few hours in fridge. 

  Then you have a nice refreshing drink, plus added vitamins! It's great for those warm summer days. 

You can add any fruit you want too! I wanted lemon for the detoxing benefits and blueberries for taste. Enjoy!

Weekend Adventures

Okay, so it's been awhile since I've blogged last. So sorry! Let's just say things have been a little crazy the past few weeks. This past weekend my husband and I, and a few other people went to a city about 3 hours away to help with a political campaign. On the way up though, as i was driving, my tire decided to, well shed some weight, and got rid of some tread WHILE I was driving. But after finding a tire shop that made an emergency run out and $50 later, we continued on to the campground we were going to stay at.

Remember how i said that Vitamin D is really important? Well for some reason when I get natural (sun) Vitamin D for to long, it take revenge and turns my skin red. Like, that really red nail polish you only wear on your toes cause it's to bright type of red. We were door knocking (again for a political campaign) and one guy that opened the door said this to me "Did you know you got sunburned?" I wanted to reply this "Oh is that why my skin feels like it's burning right off of me? Wow! Thanks! I had NOO idea!". Lets just say, i'm STILL red... 5 days later. Oh the woes of a fair ish skinned girl.

And so this past weekend we were camping right? And I wake up at 5:30 to a sanctuary of birds. Pretty cool. But we leave to go get work done, and came back during the day to jump in the river. Well... the campground was PACKED. Like people all up in our space type of thing. So we go hop in the river, cool down, and pack up again to head to town. But we are worried that all the drunk people will do something to our tents. Well, I was worried. And as we are discussing this, a guy hops in his car and pulls up a foot from one of the tents. Like, hello?! To many people in my personal bubble here. Well most of the loud people were gone that evening so it ended up being ok.

Healthy Foods : Real Vs. Garbage

 

© Insanemime | Dreamstime Stock Photos &Stock Free Images

   Eating healthy is the biggest thing right now. You see it everywhere "eat healthy", you see labels that say "natural" and in your mind that means healthy. But not all food labeled "healthy" is actually healthy. Here are my personal guidelines to real healthy foods.

• Does it come from the ground, plant, or tree? If yes, most likely it's healthy.
• Is it in its natural state? Such as "does this fruit actually look like this?" If it looks odd, most likely it's not healthy.
• Are there added hormones, pesticides, bleach, chemicals, or fillers? Most chicken fresh or frozen is bleached! Gross! Try to avoid chemicals in food and added hormones. If you want beef, get grass fed, no hormones or antibiotics. Hormones and antibiotics stay in the meat and then you ingest it. Especially if you are a woman, you don't want those added hormones. And lets face it, antibiotics will mess up your digestive system, making you gain weight!
• Does it contain corn or soy? If it does is it organic? If it is not organic chances are it's GE (genetically engineered) which means someone has messed with the DNA of that plant, and most GMO's contain pesticides INSIDE the plant so when bugs eat it, they die. No, we don't want to eat that stuff. 
• Does it say low fat? If yes, it's most likely NOT HEALTHY! Unless it's a fruit or vegetable, low fat products or actually some of the worst foods to eat if you want to loose weight. Low fat means lots of chemicals! Avoid these foods!
• Does it say "No Sugar Added" ? If yes check ingredients and see what they put in it that makes it sweet. Avoid these: Corn syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Beet Sugar, Fructose, Sucrose, Aspartame, Aspartic Acid, Acefultame Potassium. Want to know more? You can find info on why these are bad Here. 

These are just a few suggestions on what to look for. Now if you want to loose weight by eating healthy consider cutting out wheat, sugar, and processed foods (anything in a box, can, or package). If you are looking to loose weight by eating healthy, I suggest doing a cleanse. Get those toxins out of your body first! Toxins are stored in fat when your body can't get rid of it quickly enough. 

So what should you do if you want to eat healthy and loose weight? 

Detox

Exercise

Eat Clean

Check labels!

You don't want to eat garbage, so take care in what you put into your body. 

Some good articles and sources

Overview of plant based diets.

6 Foods to help you loose weight

Getting rid of sugar addiction

False marketing food industry tactics

10 False "healthy" foods

Falling In Love With Vegetables

© Pesto314 | Dreamstime Stock Photos &Stock Free Images

  And the struggle continues. I am not noticing much weight loss, but I am feeling a lot better!! Honestly, I will take feeling better over losing the weight. I have probably lost some, but since I do not have a scale, I can't weight myself and see. But continuing with the workouts, and a green juice a day has helped in energy levels, alertness, and overall feeling of wellness. Sometimes I get jealous of thin people eating junk food, but then I remember that with eating healthy food I won't have to worry as much about health issues, and I will feel GREAT! Like strep throat went around this winter, and I didn't get it! I've actually never had strep throat as far as I remember. Now some people say that they want to eat the food they want and die early and be happy. But are you REALLY happy when your body is wasting away? Most likely not. See, for me I would rather eat healthy, live longer, and be happy, instead of eating crap, dying earlier, and feeling miserable (but pretending to be happy). See once you switch to eating healthy, it's addictive. You don't want to go back to the way things were because you feel so good, and if you do go back, you realize that you don't feel good anymore and it's not worth being sick over.

  Once you train your taste buds to LOVE fruits and veggies again, you won't be able to get enough! Now you can "splurge" once in awhile, but most likely, after the splurge you wonder "why did I do that?!". It all comes down to priorities. Are you putting your health first when you choose to eat something, or are you putting those harmful cravings first? Once you realize all the chemicals, sugars, and fake stuff you are eating instead of living, nutrient dense foods, you can't go back! When i drink my green juice, I actually FEEL my body absorbing the nutrients. I know it sounds odd to say that but my mind cleared, my eyes opened up more, I had the energy of a 8 year old, and I just felt healthy. Well that is my little rant for the day, I will post later this weekend or next week on what foods are ACTUALLY healthy.